Summary:

"Left or right, dumbass. Merle’s voice growls in his head. Always so fuckin’ slow. Jesus. To his left, the trees roll out, an endless echo of each other. To his right, the same; but a bush of white flowers is growing at the base of a cedar a little way further, the petals wide, the centres butter yellow, and so he chooses right, because he needs a sign and this is it." 

Sometimes, even a broken world brings you something perfect. 

Rated: E
Categories: Season 2, Baby Fic
Characters: Carl Grimes, Carol Peletier, Dale Horvath, Daryl Dixon, Lori Grimes, Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh
Genres: Angst, Baby Fic, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Warnings: Adult Language, Attempted Rape, Domestic Abuse (Implied), Rape (Actual), Rape (Implied), Sexual Situations, Suicide, Violence
Series: Signs and Wonders Series
Chapters: 66 Completed: Yes
Word count: 262058 Read: 35358
Published: December 07, 2022 Updated: February 28, 2023

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1. Chapter 1 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 32] (4697 words)

I received a number of prompts for a babyfic a while back (I suspect them all to have come from the same person, under different handles, but nonetheless). This is the fic that resulted. You'll have to wait a while for the actual baby to appear, alas.

If this is the first time you are reading one of my fics, please note the warnings and the rating. I will remind you to do this regularly. I am very intentional about warnings, because I write angsty stories, and I need you to manage your own mental health while reading 

I haven't rewatched the early seasons (though I'll likely watch bits as I write) and I'm a little nervous about writing canon Rick, Lori, Carol, Shane and Dale. This is also the first time I've written early-season Daryl and Carol. Consider this a caveat for whatever OOC tomfoolery results.

2. Chapter 2 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 19] (3886 words)

Thank you so much for the reviews, and for being willing to give this a try. I know babyfic is not everyone's bag (it's not mine, in fact), but I hope there'll be something for everyone in this. 

My chapter notes are usually full of excuses and apologies until I settle into a story. Sorry about that. The pace of this story will pick up, by necessity, as soon as I work out how to do that. I'm also hoping to reduce chapter lengths slightly, but so far it's come out in clearly defined units.

POV will shift organically between Carol and Daryl. I do not promise any particular balance in this aspect.

3. Chapter 3 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (4235 words)

My power is out and my laptop battery will soon die, so I might have to reply to reviews some time later today--rushing to post before the battery goes. Thank you so much for all the love for this story so far. I live in it currently, and I'm so glad I'm not alone in there.

4. Chapter 4 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 18] (3549 words)

Disclaimer: geography, logistics, the things one needs to survive in a ZA, are not my forte. Please don't judge the characters if I have them making stupid choices.

Thank you for your reviews, which are the highlight of every day.

5. Chapter 5 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (4076 words)

Thank you to everyone answering my endless questions about American food and other terminology across platforms. And thank you, as always, for the reviews. You are the best readers.

6. Chapter 6 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3762 words)

Thank you, thank you for reading this, and for reviewing, and for hassling me for new chapters. I wish I could spend every minute of the day on this story.

Not the most thrilling chapter ahead, but a necessary one. I promise Daryl's range of expression will eventually extend beyond grunts and scowls.

7. Chapter 7 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (3815 words)

I didn't reach the part for which I anticipated needing a trigger warning in this chapter, but let me offer a blanket warning for this one and the next one, which will deal with upsetting themes related to pregnancy. If anything pregnancy-related is a trigger for you, you might like to pause or skip these chapters.

Thank you for your reviews  I love them, and I love being able to speak to you, and hear from you, in a way, about the story.

8. Chapter 8 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (4115 words)

Thank you for the positive and encouraging reviews on the last chapter. Please note that there is a trigger warning for this chapter for upsetting themes related to pregnancy. If ANYTHING pregnancy related is a trigger for you, please read with care or skip this altogether.

9. Chapter 9 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (4071 words)

I was going to put this up tomorrow morning, but then I finished it and thought I'd edit and post now. I'm racing my laptop battery, so I'll reply to reviews tomorrow, but thank you for all of them, and for making me think about so many things.

Trigger warnings for mentions of abortion, miscarriage, infertility. Please note that none of the views expressed by individual characters are intended to reflect my own.

I've written Dale into a couple of fics now, and my brain wants me to go back over everything he's ever said to make sure I'm not having him repeat himself, but time does not allow for that. Apologies if he's puppeting a different fic version of himself.

10. Chapter 10 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 14] (3452 words)

I'm catching up on reviews once I've posted this :) Thank you for all the feedback!

11. Chapter 11 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 13] (4048 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and sorry for ending yesterday's chapter at an awkward point. I hope this one makes up for it.

TRIGGER WARNING for abortion, miscarriage, pregnancy. Please read with care, this is a graphic chapter in parts.

12. Chapter 12 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (4043 words)

Chapter posted from a riverbank in a howling gale by the grace of Silver, who sorted out a technical glitch for me. I usually edit on three different platforms before posting (changing platform always shows me new problems / errors), but I am posting from my phone today so I haven't been able to edit as carefully. Please accept a blanket apology for clumsy repetitions, shoddy sentences, and typos.

Thank you for the reviews  and for the enthusiasm for this story. It means a lot to me.

13. Chapter 13 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 14] (3432 words)

Thank you for the generous reviews, even though I hadn't managed to reply to the ones for the previous chapter! I am home (early...) from camping and delighted to see my laptop.

14. Chapter 14 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (3404 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and the encouragement on other platforms 

15. Chapter 15 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 12] (4756 words)

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Thank you for a year of enriching feedback and generous reviews, and for reading my fic in the first place. To those of you who read in real time, thank you for trusting me to get the characters through the worst, to something better. This fic is no exception to that, I promise.

With that in mind, I have updated the warnings. Please note them, and the rating, before you read this chapter, and if you are likely to be triggered by anything covered in the warnings, please skip it or read with care. As usual, trigger warnings for all things pregnancy-related.

16. Chapter 16 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (4244 words)

Thank you for reading over the festive period, and for finding time to review  I hope those who celebrated had a wonderful Christmas.

The usual trigger warnings, story warnings, all of it...

17. Chapter 17 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (3489 words)

Your encouragement and support for this story, and your reactions to the last chapter, are honestly the best. Thank you for the reviews and the messages. Those of you who made requests for this chapter, I have not ignored or forgotten them, and the night is still ahead. (That said, I always reserve the right to ignore requests and usually do ;))

Thank you for reading and being generally very lovely 

18. Chapter 18 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3686 words)

This was hard to write, and will be hard to read. Please read the warnings. There are additional trigger warnings for anything pregnancy / fertility related.

Thank you for your reviews, which give me life, and bring me joy. Notes at the end of this chapter on the previous one and this one. Apologies for two consecutive chapters beginning with people waking up. It's an unfortunate habit I'm too lazy to break.

19. Chapter 19 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 21] (3398 words)

I wanted to get this up much earlier, but I was foiled by social engagements and then a power outage and a weak laptop battery. I have a frankly distressing number of social gatherings in the next few days, but in between I will be writing and posting.

Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter, and your patience in reading this story, which must seem like slowly drawn out pain a lot of the time. 

Trigger warnings for everything that's gone before, and PLEASE CHECK THE STORY WARNINGS: this chapter is the reason half of them exist. 

20. Chapter 20 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 20] (3502 words)

Thank you for the reviews, from new people and regular reviewers--I enjoy reading them so much, and they motivate me enormously. 

An easier chapter than the last two, I think. Please note the story warnings.

21. Chapter 21 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3654 words)

Happy New Year to those who celebrate their new year on 1 January. May 2023 treat the Caryl fandom better than 2022 did...

Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, and for your collective hatred for Shane, which has had the strange effect of making me feel guilty for having written him so awfully ;) I appreciate all the feedback, and the messages, and I love knowing that people are invested in the story. Thank you 

22. Chapter 22 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (3475 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and for reading. I realise this burn is excruciatingly slow and Carol's pregnancy is progressing at snail's pace and I just spent about four chapters on a single day BUT please stay with me. 

I love the opportunity fanfic gives for feedback from and interaction with readers, and I am going to take advantage of it here even though I complain endlessly about people associated with the show itself editorialising to compensate for things we haven't seen on screen. The situation with Rick and Lori's marriage is exactly what he said--this may require a measure of cynicism that is unusual, or maybe hitting that stage of life where my friends are getting divorced instead of married has jaded me somewhat. Lori began an affair with Shane months ago, Rick learned of it, quietly, in the way spouses learn of these things, and he made the choice to hold onto his marriage and let go a little of his wife. Not much of this is articulated between them, but there is a tacit understanding that Lori will not leave him as long as he lets her do what she must with Shane. But she goes on for months, through an apocalypse, and she gets less careful, and Shane gets more arrogant, and when Daryl drags this out into the open, speaks the thing that no one has spoken, it pushes Rick over the edge at which he has been standing for some time. 

I kind of hate myself for explaining all this and I hope at least some of you read it this way or understood the situation to be something similar. And now, onwards!

23. Chapter 23 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 12] (3905 words)

The summary for this fic makes less and less sense every time I glance at it while posting, but let me assure you that it is a promise that things will work out for the best.

Trigger warnings for this chapter for gore and pregnancy/birth-related trauma. Thank you for your reviews, and for reading 

24. Chapter 24 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 19] (3686 words)

Thank you for reading, and for your reviews  Much gnashing of teeth over this chapter.

25. Chapter 25 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (3290 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and for telling me the things you hope will or won't happen. I love hearing from all of you.

HippyMcBride / IamPrettyDrifty on Twitter made me opening credits for this story--if you're on Twitter, check them out on my feed and cry with me. They are so beautiful, and so lovingly made.

This chapter nearly killed me.

26. Chapter 26 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (3865 words)

Thank you for the reviews and encouragement after yesterday's chapter. It was a relief to reach that point. This one troubled me somewhat as well, and I rewrote the end so many times that I got confused and had to take a break. BEST OF LUCK GOING IN [insert melting face emoji].

27. Chapter 27 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 18] (3932 words)

Thank you for your patience for today's chapter, and sorry there wasn't one yesterday. I reduced my sleep deficit and did the 2023 admin I should have done back in December. And thank you for the reviews, as always, which I look forward to and always read more than once.

Please attend to the story warnings before reading this chapter, and read with care.

28. Chapter 28 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 19] (3850 words)

This would have been up an hour or more ago, but we had a power outage and my laptop died so instead I spent an hour staring at yurts on AirBnB, seething with frustration.

More angst, I'm sorry. Carol is crying A LOT, and I do try to edit out some of it, but she's a character who is often just a breath away from tears in the show, so right now it feels regrettably in character. I'm sorry if you're tired of it. 

Thank you for your reviews--I love them. And thank you for reading.

29. Chapter 29 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 17] (4289 words)

Thank you for the reviews, which brought me much joy, and I'm sorry for skipping a day. I am back at work (I'm a freelancer, so thankfully very flexible, and I work from home) and my kids are still off school waiting for the new term to begin, so things are somewhat fraught.

I also KEEP meaning to say that I am aware Dale is not actually "old", even though I keep calling him "the old man". Please assume that it is merely a relative term ;)

30. Chapter 30 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (4501 words)

Racing my laptop battery again, so I will reply to reviews later or tomorrow. Thank you for them all, and for reading, and for your warm reception of Secret Santa in the apocalypse 

Also thanks to various people who threw me ideas / specific encouragement, in reviews or elsewhere, for parts of this chapter. Sometimes I need a nudge to overcome my vast array of hang-ups.

31. Chapter 31 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 14] (3629 words)

Had a mild panic last night while the mosquitoes gnawed at me about how I'm going to get this baby out of Carol without time jumping a la the show. Started this chapter with a month time jump, edited it. I continue to fumble my way forwards. Eventually, a child might be born.

Thank you for the reviews  Reminder that this fic is rated E. 

32. Chapter 32 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 14] (3535 words)

Odd, but necessary chapter ahead. Thank you for reading, and for your reviews, which make all the difference to my motivation. I appreciate you all.

33. Chapter 33 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3925 words)

I have updated the warnings for this story, and they will update again when I post the next chapter, so please read them before you continue reading this story and walk away from this fic if you need to in light of them. This chapter is quite awful, although I have edited it back and back again to try and make it less awful. The rating for this fic is E. Thus endeth the caveat.

Thank you for the reviews. Your reactions to this story, and opinions, and the things you hope will happen, bring me a lot of joy.

34. Chapter 34 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3742 words)

I'm sure there are weird continuity errors in this chapter (WHY DID I DECIDE ON TEN MEN? WHY?). Please let me know if you spot some, or else suspend your disbelief as required. Thank you for reading, and sorry to leave you hanging yesterday. I appreciate the reviews. I find it nerve-wracking posting chapters that are particularly violent or upsetting.

35. Chapter 35 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3426 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and for hanging on through the last two chapters 

36. Chapter 36 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 11] (3501 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and the drinking game suggestions :)) I chortled my way through them. This is another very quiet chapter which was surprisingly difficult to write.

37. Chapter 37 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (4033 words)

Thank you for the reviews. I took a day between chapters to think about the details of the next section of the story, made elaborate plans, abandoned them, made less elaborate plans. If I had an editor, they would cut most of this chapter and look at me with disdain, but I don't (and I don't want one), so please enjoy.

A note about geography: I hate and resent it and so my research is minimal. Apologies. Please forgive anywhere I have misrepresented places that may be familiar to you.

38. Chapter 38 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (4097 words)

I very nearly included a spoiler in my end notes yesterday, because I feared John would cause some consternation, but I managed to restrain myself. I hope you enjoy this one, and thank you for the reviews! 

39. Chapter 39 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 11] (3710 words)

Thank you for the kind reviews, and for reading 

40. Chapter 40 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 18] (4456 words)

CHAPTER 40 and editors everywhere are crying. Thank you for reading this far, and for your patience if you're still here. I am posting from my sickbed--I wrote most of this chapter before being struck down by a stomach ailment--so please forgive typos.

Thank you for your beautiful, thoughtful reviews.

TW for specifically medical trauma related to sexual assault.

41. Chapter 41 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 14] (4012 words)

In the ongoing farce that is my life, my laptop developed an issue so I had to edit this on an iPad for the first pass, and it wasn't ideal. I am posting nonetheless, with great irritation, and my computer guy is coming round tomorrow.

Thank you for the kind reviews and for sharing your thoughts on the last chapter 

42. Chapter 42 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 14] (4335 words)

Racing my laptop battery (*insert eye roll*). Thank you for your reviews, which I love reading and which I think about a lot.

I'm moving in hops and skips through this final stage of Carol's pregnancy, because I'd like to write some of what follows it, maybe make the alleged babyfic an actual babyfic...

43. Chapter 43 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 13] (3447 words)

Thank you for your reviews! I am catching up on replies at snail's pace when I'm at my desk and I have power; but please know that I have read and reread them all and that I appreciate them very much.

Don't come at me. Warnings apply.

44. Chapter 44 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (4463 words)

Thank you for the reviews. Here is part of what happens next 

Please note that my medical research is internet based and patchy at best, and my veterinary research is even sparser (I didn't want to ask Coreen this time because it would have spoiled the story for her). Suspend all necessary disbelief. I did try to make this as realistic as possible from that point of view, but, well...

Warnings apply, all of them. Please read with care. This chapter is one half of a bigger whole, likely completed in the next chapter, though there is some relief in this one. If you would like to wait until that chapter is written so you are not left hanging, this is your notice to pause.

45. Chapter 45 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (4084 words)

Thank you for reading, and for the lovely reviews on the last chapter. I appreciate them, and you, so much.

46. Chapter 46 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 11] (4029 words)

Thank you for the reviews 

47. Chapter 47 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 11] (3554 words)

Thank you for reading and reviewing. A quieter chapter, this one, like the last one and probably the next one. I feel the need to dwell in (relatively) peaceful babyland for a bit. 

Having said that, trigger warning for loss of a child (historical, not current) and miscarriage.

48. Chapter 48 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 13] (3685 words)

Apologies for no chapter yesterday. I struggled with this one a bit. Thank you for reading, and for your reviews.

49. Chapter 49 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 12] (4639 words)

Little time jump in this one, because over my dead body was I writing six weeks of abstinence at this point. Thank you for your reviews  Some days are bad writing days, and the positive feedback helps immensely.

50. Chapter 50 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 11] (3429 words)

Housekeeping chapter--apologies in advance for that. If I planned more than 24 hours ahead, this would be better constructed, I swear.

Thank you for the reviews 

51. Chapter 51 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 12] (4463 words)

Trying a slightly different take on things here. More in the end notes. Thank you so much for your reviews, and for your patience for this chapter after the last one. 

Going to change the story summary for this fic to "People crying a lot". For what it's worth, I wrote a really cheery opening paragraph about a birthday and then deleted it later. Soz.

52. Chapter 52 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 13] (3910 words)

Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter, which were reassuring--I am grateful for them.

If you pick up any terms that are jarring enough to catapult you out of the story and into the real world, please drop me a review or a dm. I try to correct to US English as much as possible, but of course that itself is not a monolith but a mess of regional dialects. If there's some weirdly British or SAfrican term, however, give me a shout so I can fix it for the people after you, please ;)

53. Chapter 53 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 16] (3740 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and for reading. I hope you enjoyed the happy chapter! Time to move on.

54. Chapter 54 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 12] (3664 words)

Thank you for reading, and for the reviews, which are more encouraging and motivating than you know 

ETA: Please see the end notes for a trigger warning regarding Eva, and read with care or drop out if you need to x

55. Chapter 55 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 9] (3949 words)

Thank you for the reviews, and for reading  

56. Chapter 56 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 10] (4685 words)

Thank you for your reviews  

57. Chapter 57 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 10] (4028 words)

Thank you for the reviews, which are my favourite variety of mail, and for reading.

58. Chapter 58 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 13] (4310 words)

Thank you for reading, and for the reviews. I am constantly amazed by how thoughtful and generous your reviews are, and I appreciate them.

59. Chapter 59 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 8] (3619 words)

Thank you so much for the reviews, and for reading  Apologies to everyone near my timezone, because you will only get this update tomorrow. Today was a dogshow and I should have left this, but I didn't and now it's nearly 1am and I am determined to post. I'll reply to reviews tomorrow.

I'm hoping lack of sleep (ie shockingly bad time management) doesn't stop me from updating tomorrow. This chapter was INSANELY hard to write, for reasons which I spent too much time analysing.

60. Chapter 60 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 10] (3209 words)

Thank you for the reviews  Slightly shorter today, everything felt out of kilter somehow (in my life, not the fic itself), so there was much restlessness and writing and deleting.

61. Chapter 61 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 9] (4552 words)

Thank you for your encouraging reviews!  I almost got this up hours ago but our power went out and my laptop died. ANYWAY. 

62. Chapter 62 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 10] (5541 words)

Thank you for reading, and for the reviews, which keep me going in many, many ways. 

63. Chapter 63 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 15] (3521 words)

I am so sorry for the delayed update. I wrote most of this chapter and then I got COVID and so finishing it took a while, as the next update likely will too. There are a lot of headaches happening and I can't write or think with them. Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter 

64. Chapter 64 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 7] (3535 words)

Thank you for the kind and thoughtful reviews on the last chapter.

65. Chapter 65 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 12] (4592 words)

This is NOT the last chapter. But we're very nearly there.

Thank you so much for the reviews on the last one. It is almost impossible to explain how motivating feedback is--if you're posting reviews, you're doing the Lord's work ;)

66. Chapter 66 by Lighteneverything [Reviews - 20] (6902 words)

Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I am always sad to finish a story, but I am particularly sad to finish this one--partly because I have found the universe so comforting to write, partly because the readers have been so supportive, and so kind, and expressed their own love for these versions of the characters in reviews and DMs and tweets. Thank you. More in the end notes.

This is a whopper, but I didn't want to split it.